Thursday, April 29, 2010

Sad & confused... conflicted?

I don't deal with death well.

On April 13th, my Uncle Sam died suddenly. Cancer. it has been crazy getting things together for the memorial. I have been digging through drawers of old family photos and albums, scanning tons & sorting them. I discovered my organizational skills during crisis sucks.

Then on April 22nd Mystery Daughter's adoptive mom lost her battle with brain cancer. I wanted so badly to go to Billings to be with her. I couldn't.
I kept thinking I could deal with whatever life could come up with but today I feel lost. Not because of the sadness but the weirdness that came with it all.
How do I ask my sister why she has ″friend-ed″all my ex-boyfriends & husbands. it's just strange, but she also sided against me in my last divorce so I shouldn't be surprised.
Why am I freaked out that Mystery Daughter talked to her bio-dad?

It's all just weird.