Thursday, April 17, 2008

"What's in a name" or "Does the title make the person"

Over at Raising Country Kids, Erin has a post titled I earned the Mrs. I read it over & shot off a quick reply that when you read it over looks to flame her. I did not mean it that way. I just stated that I did not agree with the entire post but I think it was well done.

Now I have spent a bit of time re-reading the post and really thinking about what it was that I was first taken back by I can try to respond more clearly.

I think one main point was she is offended by strangers who address her (by mail) as Ms. Married instead of Mrs. Married. I really don't argue that but I usually ignore mail such as that because it is obviously either created by a computer or from a company which has not had prior dealings with me. It's just mail.

I did get a laugh out of her statements about pregnancy/childbirth being part of her
"right" to be called Mrs. I have given birth to four children as well but my labor added up to much more... and really that doesn't mean anything. Many other women have had more children with more labor & some have had fewer children with less labor. It really doesn't define you as a Mrs. It makes you a mother. period. If I really wanted to go on about adoption or surrogacy....*OMG* I'll stop now.

She made a jib about her degree. I have to throw it out there I have a BS in Education...but if I remember correctly she has a BS in writing/journalism....hands down funnier than mine!

"Common sense" is really hard to define these days. In some cultures a child gets a hyphenated name containing both parents' names and I believe there is one culture where the man takes the womans' surname. Montana traditional "common sense" would be if Bob Smith marries Jane Doe she would be Jane Smith and the children kid1, 2 & 3 Smith. But I think we live in a very complicated age. Multiple marriages, unwed mothers and absent fathers make FAMILY a complex concept.

Now does a title define a person? I have to say not totally. I have a Masters degree but no one calls me Master Maidenname-Droopy (I prefer Mistress anyway...ROFL) and my husband is NOT Mr. Droopy his correct title is Technical Sergeant (TSgt) Droopy.

I worked for several years to get my BS before I remarried. I was also divorced for over 10 years. My divorce was very ugly & in the end I gave his name back & my youngest did not even get his name. That had a big influence on my current name. Names do define us to a point. Although my legal name may read Zen Panda Maidenname-Droopy; my friends call me Z, my hubby calls me Panda and at work they call me Zen or Mrs. Droopy occasionally even Ms. Maidenname. They are all ME. I am comfortable enough with me and all that I have experienced to become ME to know that the two or three letters before my name are not as important to me as who I believe I am.

I really did like the piece she made me think about something less frustrating than work!

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